Tuesday, February 7, 2012

So ... Here it goes ...

So here is my hot button issue for the month of February. 

The Overly Nosy Issue

Occasionally I set up certain things, or make plans with specific people. I set up an evening with friends, and it is certain friends. Sometimes that is a small group, sometimes that is a large group. It frequently will vary. However, when someone invites them self and my only options are to pretend I don't care, change the event or lie about it, I do not appreciate that at all. 

I hate having to tip toe around and make sure things are not said or written because I am trying to not make someone feel left out. However, here is the thing, People are left out. I am not invited to everything, and I do not get upset. People have parties, meetings, functions, work and fun and I am not included. I don't run around saying "what?, What meeting? What Project?". I realize not everything is my business. 

However, when I am trying to plan something specific, with one specific person, and a third person who would never be included, completely jumps in almost inviting them self in, I get angry. I shouldn't. I realize that it is just that the person feels excluded and wants to be included. 

But honestly, I should not be expected to invite everyone to everything. If I do not invite you, it means I do not want you there at this particular event or I think you are interested. 

I personally consider it ridiculously rude to invite yourself in on someone else's plans. 

The other main point of the overly nosy issue is when I am deliberately having a conversation with someone, I am attempting to keep my voice lowered as not to tell everyone, and the 3rd person jumps in to the conversation or makes it overly obvious they are listening or attempting to listen. 

If I am lowering my voice and trying to practically whisper to someone, I cannot stand it when someone gets up and deliberately comes to get in the conversation because my lowered voice is making it to where in order to jump in, the nosy person has to physically move to stand in the conversation. 

It is just rude!

If anything, it makes me want to NOT invite and NOT discuss anything at any time. 

Not everyone in my life is my BFF. Not everyone likes the same things. Not everyone that is in my life is suited to be together all at the same time. 

So, to sum up, If you are not invited, Do not invite yourself or just show up. 
If I am conducting a private conversation with someone, do not get in it.