Monday, February 27, 2012


So my 20 year high school reunion is this year. 
By some miracle, I have been out of high school, and I still haven't killed anyone yet. Not bad for someone being voted "Most likely to be a serial killer".

I am just kidding about the serial killer part. I was voted most likely to not give a shit about any of the reunions. 

High school was nothing more than an inconvenience for me. I was that one kid who sat in the back of all of your classes bored out of my mind. I wanted them to teach me life skills. People skills, coping skills, real life management skills. 
Instead school taught me a bunch of crap I haven't used since. 
No job interview has ever given me an algebraic equation and asked me to find X. No job has ever asked me to read an 800 page novel and then write a synopsis of the characters and their struggle with life and the world. No job has ever required me to run the 600 yard dash as a pre-employment screening. So, I feel like most of that 4 yrs was spent doing things that meant nothing. 

Now that it is 2012, and we are in the technology age, I am wondering, is a reunion really even necessary? 

Just about every human over the age of 12 has Facebook, email, and some presence online. Reunions are normally a time for people to meet and get caught up on what has happened. Well thanks to Facebook, I know. 
I know who's married, who's divorced, who has kids, who works where, who lives here, who doesn't and all of the basic stuff. 

So since Facebook has taken over, What are we going to talk about at the reunion? I already know your kids are at whatever elementary school and your cat and dog are great. Now what?

Maybe we should start the evening by saying, "Anyone who has any updates NOT on Facebook, we want to know those first".

I think the 20 year reunion will be just like any other day in high school. 
A room full of people that I should have some sort of connection too, but none that I do. A room full of people that I am sure I will have lots in common with. I'm sure there are other divorced people, who are married now to someone in the military, who are in an interracial relationship, don't want kids, and live within 20 minutes of our old school. 

Actually, No. I will probably be the only one in my exact situation. But I have learned that even when I have 200 things in common with someone, it doesn't mean anything. To really want someone in your life and to really have that bound with someone, it has to be a deeper connection. 
I'm surrounded by people all the time that I have loads in common with, but I still am not interested in them. 

So what do I do? Do I go to the reunion and put on my nice face? Pretend that I am amazed about everything that has happened for 20 yrs, or do I skip it and just read all of the updates on Facebook?

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Home Sweet Home

Being in the position I am in is very odd. Most Military Wives have awesome stories of living in foreign countries, being moved all around the country on a moment's notice, and forgetting what their childhood home looks like because they have been away from it so long. 

I am the not ever moving Military Wife. 

I have lived in Chesapeake since I was 2. I'm 37 now, so do the math. My parents bought a house in Western Branch in 1976, specifically so my sister and I could go to Western Branch schools. 
Fast forward to 2008, I have graduated college, been married and divorced, and my sister who is also a military wife is stationed overseas. 
I am minding my own business, shopping in Target for a birthday card for my niece. 
Suddenly, this short filipino dude comes up and talks to me. The rest is history. 
Target, is conveniently right down the road from where I went to high school by the way. 
Fast Forward to 2012. 
I have been madly, insanely in love with my sailor since 2008. 
He has bought a house, he has no desire to move anywhere, and with his skills in the Navy, he can stay stationed in Norfolk the rest of his career. 
So my height of military moving was moving from 23321 to 23320. I changed a whole digit in my ZIP code. 
I'm sure, most military wives would kill for that. 

I feel a little odd, that I will never have to experience the infamous "PCS" or ever live in housing. But i live the military life just the same. Even though my ZIP code has only changed by one digit, and I am only 47 minutes away from my moma, I am still a military wife. 

I experience the same thing any other wife does. He goes to work, and I tell him I love him and I will miss him, and thats it. Just like any other wife, I have no idea if he will come home or not. 

He doesn't have a job where people shoot at him or try to kill him on a daily basis. Unless you count driving through bad parts of town. 

He goes to work as an electrician, does his job, and keeps his fingers crossed he can go home before bed time. 

Even though, I referred to as not a real military wife, because there are certain things I have never had to deal with, I feel I am as much a military wife as anyone else. 

I go to bed every night they are not home and pray to God that I never get 2 uniforms and a suit ringing my doorbell. 
He jokes that I would be a rich woman if that was to happen. 
But honestly, there is no amount of money, worth his life. 

I don't really feel the threat of danger when he is "at home" and his ship is at the base not going anywhere for awhile. It makes me have a greater appreciation for those guys who ARE NOT home right now and out trying to keep it together.
It also makes me think of wives of Fire fighters and Cops. 
How do they deal with it?
If my husband was a Cop in a bad part of town, I could not sleep if he was working. I would be deathly afraid he would get hurt every night he worked. 

Somehow, I have this illusion of safety when my sailor is in port and can come home at night. 

So here I go again, rambling on and on. 

The point I was trying to make is , I would love to experience a PCS or another duty station. But this later in his career, its not going to happen. 
I will enjoy my place in the record books as the only military wife to never have to move out of her home city. 

Even though I am in my home area, with my sister and dad less than 20 minutes away and my mom about 47 minutes away, it doesn't make his job less dangerous, it doesn't make me miss him any less, and it doesn't mean his job in the military is any less than any one else's. 

It is what it is .....

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Welcome to Virginia

Welcome to Southern Virginia. 

We have many constant things here and we have many things that are always changing. 

Here are a few of the constant things that will never change around here:

Deployments and Homecomings
... No matter which branch, or what time of day or night, someone is always leaving and someone else is always coming home. If we threw a parade every time someone came home, our marching bands would all be worn down to nothing because they would be marching 3 times a day, every day. 
So we tend to just say one big THANK YOU everyday all the time and pray that is enough. 

.... No matter the day or area of Southern Virginia, something always is and always will be under construction. Normally, as soon as it is fixed, it breaks again. If you are in the business of making those handy orange cones, you have found a gold mine here. We never stop road construction. We build roads to nowhere 365 days a year. 

.... No Matter where you are going, add 30 minutes. Even if it is to the grocery store, it could be 5 minutes, or if you have to go over a bridge or tunnel, it could be 5 hours. Pack a lunch. 

School Systems
....No matter which city, the school systems are under-funded. Apparently, part of the teaching curriculum in Universities is a magic act. You have to make almost a non-existent budget cover all of your students. Wave your magic wand and hope for the best. 
However, since most school positions are ridiculously under paid, most teachers and staff cannot afford magic wands. 

Here are a few things that will change by the time I finish this post.

The Weather
...Yes, I know, Earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, hail, thunderstorms ..... And that was all earlier today.
Whatever weather you are used to, from where ever you are, just be patient. We have it coming up. 
We have not quite figured out volcanic eruptions or cyclones, but we are working on it. 
Just don't ever put away part of your wardrobe. You will need shorts and flip flops Dec-Feb. You will need a rain jacket July-Aug. 
Unpack everything and keep it ready. 

...Don't waste too much time getting too involved with any candidate over anything. They will flip flop more than a fish out of water. I am finding out this is true in other places too. 
I recommend the mute button on the tv and a blind fold in the voting booth. 
Whoever you vote for, they will always do two things:
Make sure we have MORE road construction, and LESS money for schools. 

Large Scale Business
... Yes, we have many large scale businesses here that have been in the area for years. Some will never go away, but they have changed their name twice since I started this post. 
Don't get too attached to anything. 
If GE and Ford have left, so too will everyone else. 
Stick with road construction, and don't work for the school system. 

Chinese Food Places
...They should all just be named here today gone tomorrow. 
Don't get to like one because in 5 minutes they will be shut down and gone. 

News Anchors
...Don't really learn to love anyone who does the local news or weather around here. Half of them are military spouses and they are only here until they PCS again. The other half rotate stations like I rotate my purses. 
Every other week. 

So to sum it up, Never leave the house with out an umbrella and hail proof helmet. And never leave the house on time, give yourself and extra 30 minutes. 
The road construction will have caused and accident, and my guess is every time we have an accident, the weather changes. 

Welcome to Virginia

Thursday, February 23, 2012

We do have seasons

So since I am like the only "Navy Wife" who will never have to move out of her home city, and the fact that I am in an area I love, and I am surrounded by people who hate it here, makes me want to post. 

All the time, we get complaints about the weather. People say southern Virginia has no seasons. I am going to set the record straight, Southern Virginia DOES have seasons. They do not run by the typical schedule. 

Here is what to expect in Southern Virginia. 

Just Before Summer
This is the first season of the year. 
It normally begins around January 5, or the first Monday after the New Year. 
Christmas has to be completely over and all Christmas attractions closed prior to the start of Just Before Summer. 

One of the high lights of just before summer is our week of "the rainy season" once in February and once in April or May. Another highlight is the constant change in weather. 70 one day, 35 the next. 

Welcome to Virginia.

Summer here begins no later than May 1. Sometimes it starts at the end of April. Summer is our longest, and most profitable season. It can also be called "Tourist Season". Expect days of 70 to 100 degrees, in no special order. 

Welcome to Virginia.

Just After Summer
Just after summer is a very short season. Summer in southern Virginia lasts forever. Sometimes Just after Summer is only a few weeks. 
Here lately, just after summer is overlapping with the final season of the year. 

Just after summer features the harvest of crops, and temps in the 60's, with some rain thrown in. 

Just after summer will normally start around Sept 30 and go through Oct 31

Welcome to Virginia.

Christmas is the final season of the year in Southern Virginia.

It begins promptly at 9pm on Oct 31 when Trick or treating stops. 

Everyone takes down all fall decorations and immediately decorates everything that is not moving for Christmas. Waking up on Nov 1 is a shock. 
No more fall colors, everything is red and green with fake snow. 

Every business plays Christmas music, every store sells Christmas items. 

Non stop 24 hours a day from 9pm Oct 31 until the first Saturday of the new year. 
Normally on the first Sat of the new year, finally everyone is sick of Christmas and starts undecorating. 

Just Before Summer begins promptly on schedule, so the Christmas decorations need to come down!

Welcome to Virginia.

We are the only non tropical place that removes Christmas decorations to hang up flip flops and surf boards. 

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Navy Wife Separation Issue

So as a faithful Navy Wife, or in my case a girlfriend/live in lover/we will get married some day I guess, Navy Person, we are used to dealing with separation. 
The military teaches us that our sailor does not have a 9-5 job and you can never guess when he will be home. 

I deal fairly well with the separation most of the time. I have my moments where I get upset, but I don't typically pout on duty day or get upset over a 4 day underway. 
I deal with the fact that I am at home alone. I go to work, I come home. I have dinner, (maybe), I watch TV, I read my Nook, I go to bed. 
Exciting, but true. 
So why is it that I can fill up my evenings with no problem when he is not home, and yet Captain Needy cannot handle me working late?
I have things come up at work and I need to work late. I try not to when he is home, I try to get it all done and get out on time, but it doesn't always happen. 

On the nights when I am working late, even if it is 15 minutes late, Captain Needy is always calling and texting to find out when I am coming home. 

I have this separation thing down pat, but someone else does not. 

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My New Hair Cut

So ... Here it goes ...

So here is my hot button issue for the month of February. 

The Overly Nosy Issue

Occasionally I set up certain things, or make plans with specific people. I set up an evening with friends, and it is certain friends. Sometimes that is a small group, sometimes that is a large group. It frequently will vary. However, when someone invites them self and my only options are to pretend I don't care, change the event or lie about it, I do not appreciate that at all. 

I hate having to tip toe around and make sure things are not said or written because I am trying to not make someone feel left out. However, here is the thing, People are left out. I am not invited to everything, and I do not get upset. People have parties, meetings, functions, work and fun and I am not included. I don't run around saying "what?, What meeting? What Project?". I realize not everything is my business. 

However, when I am trying to plan something specific, with one specific person, and a third person who would never be included, completely jumps in almost inviting them self in, I get angry. I shouldn't. I realize that it is just that the person feels excluded and wants to be included. 

But honestly, I should not be expected to invite everyone to everything. If I do not invite you, it means I do not want you there at this particular event or I think you are interested. 

I personally consider it ridiculously rude to invite yourself in on someone else's plans. 

The other main point of the overly nosy issue is when I am deliberately having a conversation with someone, I am attempting to keep my voice lowered as not to tell everyone, and the 3rd person jumps in to the conversation or makes it overly obvious they are listening or attempting to listen. 

If I am lowering my voice and trying to practically whisper to someone, I cannot stand it when someone gets up and deliberately comes to get in the conversation because my lowered voice is making it to where in order to jump in, the nosy person has to physically move to stand in the conversation. 

It is just rude!

If anything, it makes me want to NOT invite and NOT discuss anything at any time. 

Not everyone in my life is my BFF. Not everyone likes the same things. Not everyone that is in my life is suited to be together all at the same time. 

So, to sum up, If you are not invited, Do not invite yourself or just show up. 
If I am conducting a private conversation with someone, do not get in it.