Sunday, May 29, 2011

Follow Through

So its Memorial Day weekend and I am at home waiting on someone. I hate it when someone says they will do something, and then they just don't. A simple NO would have been fine. I'm an adult, I can handle no. But dont leave me hanging thinking that you are going to do something, and I sit around waiting for you to do it and you actually have no plans to ever do it.
Granted, I dont have any serious time table plans that need to be taken of at a certain time. But the whole thing of just waiting, is pissing me off.

Friday, May 27, 2011

A Drink

Right now, I need a drink. No it is not that I WANT one, I NEED a drink.
When I have issues or problems, I resolve them with alcohol. Right now, I am so annoyed, pissed, fired up, whatever you want to say, that I really NEED a drink to calm myself down.

I'm so pissed at the bullshit I have to put up with when Godfrey is gone. I'm so tired of being treated like the hired help, but I still have to pay rent.  I'm tired of dealing with asshole roommates who can't do something simple for me.

Tonight is a night where I really should not be consuming alcohol. I'm mad, and I want to forget what is going on and just relax. But my first gut reaction is "I need a beer".
Godfrey isn't here to make it better. I don't speak to the asshole roomies anymore because it does me no good. Its just me and the dog.

However, I have decided that instead of picking up the bottle to make me forget I have a problem, I am going to do what normal people do and just vent. However, since there is no one here to talk to but the dog, and she just sleeps, I will vent through my blog.

Tomorrow night, I hope I can do more blog venting and not drinking.


Godfrey has been in SAR Swimmer training for 2 weeks now. This is the Navy's Search and Rescue Swimmer training. It is completely stressful for him. He has been swimming 2,000 yards most days. He has had to learn to swim with all of the gear he has to carry. He has had to learn to swim underwear with his snorkel and not drown.

The physical requirements of this has just been extremely demanding.
I know he is tired, but he is extremely dedicated to it and he really wants this. He is the smallest guy in the glass, down to about 145lbs right now.

I love the fact that he is in such awesome shape. But it does form some kind of conflict for us. He gets to work out while he is at work, and I don't.
So when I get home from work, he is always ready to eat. Dinner is like his biggest meal of the day, and for me, it is really optional.

I guess we just have to work together when he is home to figure out what is best for him AND me.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Blast From The Past ....

So, back in 98, I dated this guy named Marc for 4 months.
We stopped dating, a few months later, had a little "fling".
And then we just kind of stopped talking for awhile.
He was "that one". He was that guy that could have called me at 3am and I would have just gone. He is just a great charmer. I just loved being around him.
Although, it was never like a serious love thing, He has always stayed in the back of my mind.
We we talking when I got married, we were talking when he got married.
And then the last time I saw him was 2006.
A month ago, out of the blue, he sends me a text.
We start communicating again, and I've seen him twice this week.

Don't get me wrong ... I am MADLY in love with Godfrey. He is fun and crazy. Even though some things about him drive me up the wall, he is wonderful, and I love him so much.

However, having this two dinners with Marc, it has been a big yo yo.
On one hand, I just wanted to get caught up, How's the family kind of stuff.
He's changed, and I would defnitely not be chasing after him these days if I didn't know him.
But then, he gives me this look with his big brown eyes, and I melt.
The other thing I love about him is his hands. I look at his hands and I'm melting again.

But then, we remind each other why we didn't work.
He can be an ass.
He is a HUGE Republican, and he is all in to politics. I'm a democrat, but I'm over the whole politics thing.
Sports is another thing, we can't stand to talk baseball because I'm a Mets fan, and he hates the Mets.
He's a Braves fan and I hate the Braves.

So after having dinner with him, and me being reminded like why he pissed me off back in 98,
I go home and curl up with Godfrey's blanket that he keeps on the ship and miss Godfrey all night.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


When I get off work, I am headed to Kroger to pick up some free toothpaste, and some ridiculously cheap yougurt.

Then, I am going to head over to Farm Fresh, and get some 18 cent ketchup, and some 38 cent frozen meals!


Friday, May 13, 2011


Why is it that whenever the weekend comes around, I always have 20 tons of things to do, and not enough time to do them in, But all I really want to do is sleep???

I took Godfrey to the airport today. He is going to a training school for the Navy for a month.

I have SO MUCH to do!
Here are a few things:

1) Get Shane some NERF velco darts for his birthday party tomorrow
2) Get grass seed and get it put down before it rains
3) Clean the 1st floor floors
4) Clean both 1st floor bathrooms
5) Laundry
6) Move everything in boxes that is in the front part of the attic to the back
7) Move everything in boxes in the garage to the back part of the attic
8) Get my remaining non-boxed items in boxes and up in the attic
9) Go through what I have for the attic, and throw away or donate most of it.
10) Go through my CM stuff, Pull Kelli's stuff and put it in a box for her.
11) Organize everything else CM, putting away new inventory
12) Organize all paper products for workshops.
13) Pull bags and order forms for Deshounn
14) Change sheets
15) Shop for storage unit