Just another lovely Navy Life weekend.
Of course the sailor is not home. He is out prepping for a deployment that is coming up soon.
I joke and kid that as soon as he leave its party at my house, but I know that it will not be all smiles and laughs.
I honestly wish he didn't have to go, but if he didn't want to deploy, he should not have joined the Navy.
The main reason I am afraid for him to go right now is that there s turmoil in the world, and I am really afraid we are going to end up in war, and he will be in harms way.
He tells me not to worry, his job is no where near the enemy. When they fire they are so far away, the enemy can't see them and they can't see the enemy. But it is not just him being in harms way that bothers me, it is the whole war thing.
It seems weird for such a peace loving person to be in love with someone who has a job that may involve acts of war. I personally morally disagree with the USA jumping in on other countries problems and putting our boys in harms way for some other countries problems.
The other reason I don't want him to go is simple, I will miss him.
Yes, I know, I should be used to him being gone all the time. He hasn't been home hardly at all in 2012. He's been gone almost the same amount, as he will be gone, it just came in short stretches. But when he can come home for a week here and there, it is a chance for us to spend time together and have fun. I swear, the thing I love about him is his uncanny ability to just randomly make me laugh. We can be having the most serious discussion ever, and he can just say the cutest thing and just crack me up.
I will definitely miss him making me laugh randomly.
I'm trying to make the best of it. I've made plans for his deployment. I have some things related to work that need to be handled. I also have made myself really busy with plenty of scrapbooking events.
I think I am going to be able to keep myself busy, I just still wish it was going to be easier for me to communicate with him. That is the worst part of the deployment. I will only be able to email him and he won't be able to call me very often, only when they hit port. He's not big on writing, so I know he won't get bored and actually like write me letters. I plan to write him though. I plan to overload him with mail. I plan to make sure he knows that I am constantly thinking of him and missing him.
I can live with out him. I will be fine, I can cut the grass, I can trim the hedges. I can keep the house clean.
But I just don't want to. That is the whole point of finding that perfect person to share your life with. You have someone to do all of those things with.
I just know that when he does come home, it will be absolutely wonderful.
We will have those moments again and I will be able to feel safe and just randomly laugh because he makes me feel like a kid again.
Gosh, I miss him so much. I just want to laugh for no reason.