Wednesday, March 27, 2013

And it gets worse

As if my situation right now cannot get any worse, it has. 
I probably should not let other people get to me, but I do. I wish people would just step back and realize that whatever they have worked out as a plan for their life and their marriage, is not necessarily the plan that will work best for everyone. 

I've made decisions, Maybe they aren't what other people would make, but they are my decisions. 
What I don't understand, and I guess I never will is the judgement. 
I am the type of person where I don't care what someone does in their own house, if it works for them, great, help yourself, I don't care. 
Own all the guns you want, smoke all the pot you want, marry all the gay people you want, I don't freaking care. 
Everyone does things differently, and there are too many freaking different things going on to get all up in someone's business and care what is going on. 
I guess I am just apathetic, because I just honestly do not give a crap, at all. 
But when people make up their mind that I personally am doing something wrong, and it does not affect them at all, that gets under my skin. 

Recently someone said the phrase "Why don't you tell her to ......."
My response was simple, I don't tell anyone what to do about anything.

Its not really my place. Mostly, because I don't really care unless it is something that affects me. For most people, it doesn't. 

I know I am rambling in circles, but I guess my point is, I am seriously tired of the microscope and the prying eyes, and the people all up in my business. I'm tired of the judgement. I'm tired of the microscope and having people who don't live my life tell me how it should be. 

I guess I have just gotten a belly full of the judgement over and over and over and I am just tired of it. I just feel like I want to go home and climb under a rock and never come out. I'm miserable from all of the judgement. It makes me want to hide from the world. 
Its probably a good thing that I have to leave the house for work and other things or else I seriously would not. I would just hide and keep the prying judgmental eyes away from me. 

I feel totally judged and under a microscope and people wonder why I am severely depressed.