Some Updates

So I guess I need to update on all the craziness since I really wrote anything. 
The last couple of months before he came home from deployment was really weird. 
Before he left, and after he first left I was spending alot of time with friends, and suddenly they just stopped speaking to me in May. 
I think the one did because I got really sick, and I wasn't able to go to a concert we had tickets to. So after that, she never spoke to me again. 
But she was having a baby, so I knew we wouldn't be friends after the kid was born anyways. The whole kid thing just takes up all your time and ruins your life, so you lose your friends. But people know that going in. 

The other, I think just quit speaking to me, because the first did. I really don't know. But it was just weird to talk to 2 people everyday, plan everything with 2 people, and then suddenly they just stop talking to you for no reason. 

The horrible part is that other people who knew all of us have decided to be friends with them and not me which means they have to be super bitchy to me. Lovely. 

Anyways, so as the summer was winding down, I decided to get my first tattoo. I had been thinking about it for years. I finally just randomly left work on my lunch hour and got one. CRAZY.
After that I ended up getting 2 more and a half sleeve. LOL
MID LIFE CRISIS!

So my now husband then fiance' came home ahead of the ship as scheduled. However the day he flew home was nothing but bad weather all over the eat coast. His flight was delayed delayed delayed. 
Of course while he was deployed, his cell phone had died, so he had no way to get in touch with me besides bugging other people he worked with to use their phones. 
Our homecoming was delayed until like 3am int he morning. He was tired, I was tired. I didn't eat, he didn't eat. It was a mess. It was definitely NOT a homecoming. 
But he came home and our life resumed. I was happy to have him home, even if it meant that it was at 3am.

And so the deployment goes ...

The deployment continues. 
Today is Day 19 that he has been gone of probably at least 220 more to go. 
I say at least because although they have given the sailors on the ship a false sense of security with an anticipated return date, I know the Navy will probably delay the return. 
Too much is going on in the world for the US not to need this ship to be extended. 
Tomorrow I have an appt with a new Rheumatologist. I am very tired of the NOTHING I was getting from my old Rheumy. He was just like lets wait and see. No, I can't wait and see, I hurt all the time and I am miserable. I can't really live my life unless they can give me something that will really help me and make me feel better. 

So far, his deployment has been pretty good for him. They have docked in 3 countries so far and he has gotten to go and enjoy some sites and enjoy some good food. I am happy when he gets to get off the boat and really enjoy some down time. I wish he had've called me at his last port, but with the time difference and when he was off the boat, it just wasn't possible. 
I was laying in bed the other night and it really hit me exactly how long it will be before he comes home. All the rest of winter, all of spring, all of summer. 
Geez, its like he is missing everything. He will come home with a few weeks of summer left and then go right into fall. 
We are trying to figure out what to do for the wedding. I am thinking that we should just go to Vegas and get married. I don't want a wedding at all, I just wanted to do the courthouse. But he wants something.
I've been saving up my frequent flier miles, so I think I can get us to Vegas. He can pay for the hotel!
There are lots of wedding options in Vegas. Including an option that includes a ride over the Vegas strip after the wedding in a helicopter. I've never been in a helicopter, so I think it would be cool. 
Who knows, we have many more days to go before I even can book anything because I have to wait until they set a date to even think about it. 
I at least have a general time frame, so I know I need to think about a dress of some sort. It will be Vegas, so it can be super simple. Maybe I can hit a clearance sale, I hate paying full retail for anything. 

When he comes back, we will have been together for 5 years. To me that seems like a good long dating period before we get married. I think in 5 yrs we have it all figured out.

He said they should be hitting a port soon, of course he can't say where or when, but he did say he would try to call. 

I really miss hearing his voice.

Deployment Day Two

Well, it is Deployment Day Two. The sailor left yesterday for at least 8 months. 

Last night I went out to dinner and drinks with 2 friends whose husbands are also in the Navy. We had a great time, just drank way too much. But it was day one for me, so we sort of sent him off with a bang. 

I decided when he announced the deployment, that I would make myself some serious goals and then do my best to stick to them. Some of the goals are professional, some are personal, and some are just organizational related to the house. 

So I figured this would be a good time to go ahead and list out what my goals are. 

1. Work on my professional certifications. I bought a study program to help prep for Microsoft Certifications. I plan to work on 4 different ones. Getting these certifications will really help me as far as work goes. It will improve my job positioning and could lead to a higher earning potential. 

2. Finish my book! I have created a character and I have the outline of how the book will flow. I've just only had time to write the first few pages. It is frustrating because I really want to make time to get this book done! I've decided that since I will have more time, I will be able to finish it.

3. Organize my craft room. I need shelves going down one wall. I need to go through everything that I have and get it up on shelves and organized. My current chair in there is broken, my table is all a mess. I want my craft room to be organized, and easy to use, and a place I can go and get stuff done. 

4. Get my scrapbooking caught up. I finally finished 2010, but I have not started on 2011 and I have some big trips in 2011. I want to get all of 2011, 2012 and start on 2013 before 2013 is over. I am tired of being so behind.

5. Repaint the house. I want to redo some of the rooms in the house. The house was a different color in every room when he bought the house, he repainted some of the rooms, but I just do not like the colors. I want to repaint some of the rooms and pick better colors. 

6. Plant some veggies. I realize I cannot do this until the spring. But several summers ago, we had a nice garden area all around our fence. He grew some of the most random things. But I am going to plan out and actually grow some things that I want to eat like tomatoes, bell peppers and squash. 

7. Lose Weight! I was on a good path of doing DDP yoga and bike riding along with eating better for about 6 plus weeks. I lost like 12-14 lbs. I haven't gained it all back. But I was struck with really bad headaches, and it was impossible to do anything. So my plan is to get back on the routine that I was on. My first goal will be to get back to my high school graduation weight, which was 195. I weighed myself the other day and I was at 216.5. So once I hit 195 then I will set goals for 20 lbs at a time after that. Hopefully, I can make some progress and be able to look half way decent when we get married. 

8. Keep up with my couponing and get a good stock built up of the stuff that costs so much like shampoo, detergents, cleaners, etc. I also want to build up a good supply of paper products for my workshops, and snacks.

9. Increase my Creative Memories business. Right now I am filling my calendar with workshops. I need to find a better location for workshops in Chesapeake, but I am still working on that. I want to increase my attendance, which I think I can if I find a new location. 

10. Go back to church regularly and join a church. I have been attending one off and on. I kinda want to join, but I am not positive. I am going to keep going and see if I can make up my mind or if I need to pick a different church. Either way, I am going to make church a big goal for me. 

The Lovely Deployment Prep

The Lovely Deployment Prep

So this week is it, he has to finish all of his "getting everything to the ship" this week because of his work schedule and because of when they are leaving. 
So here he goes, he got a new mattress pad, a new pillow, and some other stuff for the ship.

I'm sad and depressed that he is leaving. Its like I have a grip on it one minute and then I don't have a grip 5 minutes later. He is the one who is leaving, so why am I the one that is depressed?

He is acting like he is going to be here for a another year. He has been buying things that clearly he will not use or even open before he leaves. 

Prime example, the new beer fridge and the new lumpia fryer. 
We had a party on New Year's Eve. This was the exact time and place for him to use the beer fridge and for him to use the new lumpia fryer. However, he because he likes to keep things in boxes and not use them, which I dont understand, he did not use the new beer fridge or the lumpia fryer. 
Instead he made me fry lumpia in the house, which the house STILL smells like fried food, which I hate. 
Why couldn't he just freaking hook up the new fryer? Why spend your money on something you are not going to be around to use. 

For my Christmas present he took an off handed comment that I made about a fridge in the bedroom as serious, and he seriously got me a small fridge for the bedroom. 
Thank goodness that i found the receipt in his car, because I will be taking it back. I honestly do not need a fridge in the bedroom. 
Especially when we have the new mini beer fridge in the garage that he has not even taken out of the box and hooked up yet. 

I'mt totally shocked that he hooked up the freezer. He bought a new freezer, not the style I wanted, the style he wanted, right before deployment. Do I seriously need a 20 cu foot freezer for myself?

He makes me crazy. But I  guess his crazy purchase behavior has just been because he is not getting a grip that he is leaving. 

I have no clue how it is going to be for our next couple of days I've got with him. I want to spend as much time with him, but his work schedule, my work schedule, its going to be rough. 

Write away your deployment

We all hate it when the deployment dates are looming near on a calendar, but it is a fact that military life cannot change. There will be times when duty comes first and the family back home faces a long deployment.


With technology today, they can jump on a computer and send a quick email back home, copy it to wife, mom, aunt and grandma and BOOM the entire family knows that I am OK and I need more Gatorade packets. 


Somehow the art of honest letter writing has been lost. To me, even for quick trips or training schools, I have not hesitated to send letters and cards. The most important thing for me is for my sailor to have a visual reminder of how much I love him and how much I am thinking about him. 


I write the occasional letter, but mostly I just send the cards from the dollar store. Yes, I admit, I send him cheap cards. There are several reasons, one being you don't really know if he will get it ever or not. Why spend money on expensive cards when the odds are he wont get it any time soon. The second reason is the cheaper they are, the more I can send!


When he was up in Great Lakes for C School, I got him to send me the address there where I could send him mail. He got a letter and a card I sent to him but there were 3 cards that he never got. I just chalked it up to the lovely mail service. After C School, he went on a deployment. When he returned home after the deployment, about a month later, he gets my cards. The training center in Great Lakes had refused the mail. So they forwarded them to a ship he was on more than 4 yrs ago. The Haleyburton gets them and is like what the heck? By some miracle, someone, somewhere was able to look up his name and then forward the mail to his current ship. It took at least 6 months for him to get those cards! But he got them.

Even though we had that whole issue on the Great Lake Adventure, I continue to send him stuff when he is gone for a long time. 
I will hand make him cards every once in awhile, but usually I just get an 8 pack of blank note cards from the good old dollar store and send those. 


They are small and I can carry them with me whenever. I pre-address and pre-stamp them and keep at least one in my purse all of the time. If I am out somewhere and something happens and I want to tell him about it, I just write it down in the notecard and drop it in the mail. 


Sure, by the time he gets the card, I have already told him either over the phone or via email. But I just like feeling like I am telling him right then.


It makes me feel better. I need more things in my life to make me feel better as far as that is concerned. I am always worried about his personal safety, even though he tells me not to worry. I am always worried about him getting enough to eat and getting enough sleep. I love him, what can I say?
I worry about him when he is home and I worry about him when he is deployed.  He has a very scary job and I am just always afraid something will happen. 


Believe it or not, He saves EVERYTHING I send him! He has a drawer in the bedroom with all of my cards and letters I have ever sent him. Occasionally I will open it and glance through. Its funny to see what I wrote 4 years ago when we had first just started dating. I need to dig up my stuff and compare it. You would see that in the beginning he was head over heels for me and I was trying to take it slow. 4 years later, everything has changed but I wouldn't change it for the world. 
Our love grows stronger all the time. 
I wonder if it has anything to do with the letters?

Hokey Pokey

I realize that the Navy life involves the Sea. But I don't like it when it involves unnecessary torture. 


Right now, his ship is out on a Fleet Week Tour. Everyone who has ever been associated with Navy life knows what that means.


So he is out now, scheduled to be gone for a several weeks. Well after stop #1 was complete, his ship has to come by VA to get to their next stop. They have plenty of time, so the ship puts out a vote to see if they pull in for the night, or not. 
We all know they are not really going to pull in. The fuel costs are astronomical for a pull in and pull out. Why waste that money when the ship needs other things. 
I got that part, but why get everyone's hopes up that they may get to go home and sleep in their bed for one night?
To me that is just mean. 


Due to my health issues, I have a lot going on right now, and it is just not a good time for him to be away from me. So the fact that the Navy was teasing his whole ship that they may get to go home for a day was just MEAN!  

Sea Duty means on the SEA

I get so annoyed when I hear wives complain about how much their sailor is gone on SEA DUTY. Seriously? What part did you not understand? The SEA or the DUTY???
Its not called "Land Duty" or "Home everyday by 4pm duty" It is called SEA DUTY. He's a sailor, he is meant to be on the sea. 


If you want your sailor home with you every night and always up your ass because you are so afraid he is going to fart and you won't get to smell it, tell him to join the Navy band or the Air Force. 


I understand that no one likes having to take care of everything by themselves for a long period of time. But what would you being doing if you were single?
Would you be bitching and moaning that you have to do everything by yourself?
No, you would just do it. 


Instead of your non-stop childish bitching and moaning that he isn't with you every second of the day, why not just be thankful you have him?


How many single moms are out there doing it all, with absolutely zero support from anyone else?


Before you open your mouth to bitch that he isn't home, and his head is not crammed up your ass 24/7, Stop and think. 


In a flash, he could be gone. 


That is literally all it takes.


Before you start bitching he's not home, thank God above that your situation is not different. 


Be thankful that you can email him or talk to him on the phone. 


There are widows that would give anything just to have 5 more minutes. 


So stop bitching. He's in the Navy, let him sail the seas while you sit home alone and cash his paychecks and bitch about how he's not there. 


Stop Bitching, At least YOU HAVE HIM.

Not Helpless

Why is it that during deployment, we handle all the household responsibilities, but when they are home, they assume we are helpless?


During deployments, underways, work ups, or any other time when he won't be home for awhile, I have no problem remembering about trash day. I cheat and have a reminder pop up on my phone to remind me to put the trash out and which night is recycle night. 
Its simple really, I gather up the trash from the bedroom and bathrooms. Then I go into the kitchen and determine what in the fridge needs to get thrown out. I gather up all the bags, take them out to the can, put the can on the curb. Then on Thursdays, I put the can back up beside the house. Simple really.


However, when it is a simple duty day, the world must stop. 


He's home, so he must gather the trash. Even though I have no problem doing it when he is gone, he is home, so the trash becomes his domain. Honestly, it is fine with me because I would rather not have to deal with hauling the trash and the recycles. So trust me, I don't get upset that I can't do it right when he is home. So he gathers the trash and recycles and places them on the curb. 


Now, duty day is trash day. So he has placed his trash perfectly on the curb. Now, I have the very difficult responsibility of rolling the can back to the side of the house when I get home from work. Yet again this is something that I handle when he is gone with no problem. But since he is on duty, he feels the need to remind me. 


Well honey, I think I can remember to roll the trash cans up. First, its Thursday, trash day is always Thursday, so I am already in the routine of putting the cans back on Thursdays. Second, the cans were sitting on the curb when I left the house this morning. So seeing the cans is a reminder that when I get home, I will need to put the cans up. Third, when I get home and go to pull into the driveway, I will see the cans. 


I am fully capable of seeing the cans, knowing that I need to roll them up by the house, and then actually doing it. 


Thanks for the vote of confidence honey that I need to be reminded to take care of the trash. 


Most of our sailors seem to think that we are wonder woman when they are deployed. We handle everything, the bills, the house, the yard, the pets, the cars, everything. 
But somehow they want to take over when they come home. 
Well honey, if you must take over trash duty when you are home to make yourself feel better, I will let you. I'm sure the trash is such a complicated thing, I can't do it right anyways.