Some Updates

So I guess I need to update on all the craziness since I really wrote anything. 
The last couple of months before he came home from deployment was really weird. 
Before he left, and after he first left I was spending alot of time with friends, and suddenly they just stopped speaking to me in May. 
I think the one did because I got really sick, and I wasn't able to go to a concert we had tickets to. So after that, she never spoke to me again. 
But she was having a baby, so I knew we wouldn't be friends after the kid was born anyways. The whole kid thing just takes up all your time and ruins your life, so you lose your friends. But people know that going in. 

The other, I think just quit speaking to me, because the first did. I really don't know. But it was just weird to talk to 2 people everyday, plan everything with 2 people, and then suddenly they just stop talking to you for no reason. 

The horrible part is that other people who knew all of us have decided to be friends with them and not me which means they have to be super bitchy to me. Lovely. 

Anyways, so as the summer was winding down, I decided to get my first tattoo. I had been thinking about it for years. I finally just randomly left work on my lunch hour and got one. CRAZY.
After that I ended up getting 2 more and a half sleeve. LOL
MID LIFE CRISIS!

So my now husband then fiance' came home ahead of the ship as scheduled. However the day he flew home was nothing but bad weather all over the eat coast. His flight was delayed delayed delayed. 
Of course while he was deployed, his cell phone had died, so he had no way to get in touch with me besides bugging other people he worked with to use their phones. 
Our homecoming was delayed until like 3am int he morning. He was tired, I was tired. I didn't eat, he didn't eat. It was a mess. It was definitely NOT a homecoming. 
But he came home and our life resumed. I was happy to have him home, even if it meant that it was at 3am.

And so the deployment goes ...

The deployment continues. 
Today is Day 19 that he has been gone of probably at least 220 more to go. 
I say at least because although they have given the sailors on the ship a false sense of security with an anticipated return date, I know the Navy will probably delay the return. 
Too much is going on in the world for the US not to need this ship to be extended. 
Tomorrow I have an appt with a new Rheumatologist. I am very tired of the NOTHING I was getting from my old Rheumy. He was just like lets wait and see. No, I can't wait and see, I hurt all the time and I am miserable. I can't really live my life unless they can give me something that will really help me and make me feel better. 

So far, his deployment has been pretty good for him. They have docked in 3 countries so far and he has gotten to go and enjoy some sites and enjoy some good food. I am happy when he gets to get off the boat and really enjoy some down time. I wish he had've called me at his last port, but with the time difference and when he was off the boat, it just wasn't possible. 
I was laying in bed the other night and it really hit me exactly how long it will be before he comes home. All the rest of winter, all of spring, all of summer. 
Geez, its like he is missing everything. He will come home with a few weeks of summer left and then go right into fall. 
We are trying to figure out what to do for the wedding. I am thinking that we should just go to Vegas and get married. I don't want a wedding at all, I just wanted to do the courthouse. But he wants something.
I've been saving up my frequent flier miles, so I think I can get us to Vegas. He can pay for the hotel!
There are lots of wedding options in Vegas. Including an option that includes a ride over the Vegas strip after the wedding in a helicopter. I've never been in a helicopter, so I think it would be cool. 
Who knows, we have many more days to go before I even can book anything because I have to wait until they set a date to even think about it. 
I at least have a general time frame, so I know I need to think about a dress of some sort. It will be Vegas, so it can be super simple. Maybe I can hit a clearance sale, I hate paying full retail for anything. 

When he comes back, we will have been together for 5 years. To me that seems like a good long dating period before we get married. I think in 5 yrs we have it all figured out.

He said they should be hitting a port soon, of course he can't say where or when, but he did say he would try to call. 

I really miss hearing his voice.

Make Yourself Happy With What You Have

There comes many times in Military life when you encounter people who know it all, and know everything about military life and they chastise you for your choices. 

Not every marriage or relationship works the same, we do not question this when both parties are civilian, but we do not hesitate to judge when one part of the couple is military. 

Make yourself happy with what you have. Whatever works for you in your relationship, let that work. Do not feel like you have to change your life or how you do things just to be like someone else. 
This is especially true with finances. Figure out a way to handle the money that makes sense for both of you. If it works, then let it work. The important thing is that everything is being handled. 

The hardest thing for me to deal with is the military wives who are different from me, and yet insist on shoving their shit down my throat. I'm not you lady. 
The military IS HIS JOB. It does nothing for me. It provides me with nothing but headaches. 
My situation is completely different than most and I realize that complete independence is rare. I refuse to be lumped in and meshed with this ideal that I am a military wife and this is my life. Blah Blah Blah. 
My life is what I make it. With or without his job. 
The military is his job and it has nothing to do with me. It does not change my political opinions, it does not change the person I am, it is just his job. 

The day will come when he is no longer in the military and this craziness will be over. 

I'm tired of being lumped with a bunch of crazy drama rama mamas who clearly need help. 

Turn About Is Fair Play

I totally have been out of the loop of blogging here lately. My life has been a literal shit storm in the middle of a tornado. I haven't had time to think about anything funny or witty that sucks or is great about military life, because I have just been too busy living it. 

The sailor is on one of those rotations where they are working like crazy to get prepped for inspections. Everything has to be in perfect working, safety condition and pass inspection, so they can deploy. 

I am sure there are a handful who want something to break, so they dont have to go, but that is not really how it works. If something breaks, they will bust ass until it gets fixed. 

So this means that he is working an extremely unreasonable schedule. He goes in at the same time everyday, but he has no idea what time he is getting off. It could be 4pm, it could be 6pm or it could be 10pm. Apparently they Navy does not give a shit that we have plans. 

So the number one thing I have learned by going through other fun times like this is that to not buy any tickets to anything, do not spend any money on anything fun that cannot be refunded. Too many times the Navy has cancelled leave, changed schedules and we are left holding the financial bag because we can't get refunds for whatever we spent money on. 

Not only has my life been a shit storm because of his crazy schedule, but weird things have been going on at work and I have had weird odd things that I am working on in the evenings when I am at home. I have a hard time writing documentation at work because I cannot concentrate. So I try to do it when I am not in the office. 

This week, something is happening that has not happened in over 4 years, he is at home, all alone for a WHOLE WEEK!

My employer sent me to another state for a week long training class. He took me to airport on Sunday. 

Of course the entire time we are walking down the hallway, he is making this "I'm going to cry" puppy face. I've traveled for business before, he has either been out to sea, or it was only 2 days. 

He leaves me at home all alone for weeks on end, but this is the first time that the shoe is on the other foot. 

He is not a messy person, so if anything the house will be cleaner when I get home than when I left. But I do worry about  little details like taking the trash out, and feeding the dog. He hasn't had to worry about that in so long. He just comes home eats and sleeps. Thats about all he has time to do. 

Turn about is fair play, I finally got the chance to leave him at home, and he is not liking it. He was missing me before I even got off the airplane. 

Many times in this relationship I have gone to the airport and waited patiently to pick him up after his flight, Friday night, Turn about becomes fair play and he gets to wait on me. 

Its a small revenge, but I will take it!

Top 10 Lessons Learned

Today's Blog Post is not mine. It was well written by a friend and Army Wife. My friend Lauren has experienced the ups and downs of life with an active duty spouse and reserve spouse, and dealing with our arch nemesis, the Deployment.
This post is dedicated to all of us family members who have to joy of staying home and watching everything fall to shit.

Thanks for the post Lauren!

Since the deployment is officially over I decided to share the top 10 lessons I learned over the last year. Most were expensive and frustrating at the time but are now amusing to look back on and know even though I had plenty of "Army Wife Fail" moments I got through it and came out much stronger on the other end.

1. Your husband typically mows the grass once a week, not once a month. If you wait

 a month and run over a pole because you didn’t see it through the jungle of grass, you WILL break your lawn mower.

2. When you break the lawn mower, you ignore the shed in the backyard. Ignoring the shed in the backyard will result in rat infestations that will ruin the shed. Rats are pretty nasty.

3. When your husband tells you to change the air filter in the HVAC unit every 3 months you should ignore him and read the package. Or, you can pay an emergency repair man to tell you you’re supposed to change it once a month when the motor goes out in the middle of the night when it's 100 degrees outside.

4. The Police don’t care if you just talked to your husband that you haven’t talked to in FOREVER and are so excited that you completely forget to watch your speed. Speeding will result in a ticket. VA takes speeding very seriously. Don’t speed in VA.

5. When the Army says your husband will be home for R&R on March 10th you should use the following equation to determine when he will really be home: Date the Army said + 2x + #the Army is full of crap= nobody knows when the hell he will actually be home. Keep calm and drink some rum.

6. It does not matter when your husband leaves or how long he is gone for. As soon as he leaves something major will go wrong. For example, there is a hurricane that you are completely unprepared for on the day he boards a plane for Afghanistan. This means taking down the 10 foot canopy, disassembling the swing, emptying the water barrels, evacuating yourself and the animals and then coming home to throw out all the food in 2 refrigerators and a freezer, and finding someone to repair the fence and water barrels by yourself. By the way, if you choose the cheapest repair guy your fence will end up totally jacked up.

7. It is frowned upon by the DMV to let the registration on your vehicle expire because you totally forgot you had to take care of your husband’s vehicle.

8. Speaking of forgetting your husband's car, if you forget to start said car the battery will die. You will realize the battery is dead on a rainy Saturday when you need that car and will need to jump the car in the rain after googling "will you get shocked if you jump a car in the rain?"

9. A year spent dreaming about the "perfect" reunion where your husband (in uniform) scoops you up, spins you around and kisses you for the first time in months while the photographer captures the perfect photo is laughable. LAUGHABLE! Driving 10 hours (unexpectedly with about 1 hour notice) round-trip to see him for less than 24 hours and pulling in to a dark parking lot in the rain is more like it.

10. Good friends and amazingly supportive family will get you through it all….the days you literally ache from the pain of missing him, when you hate him for leaving you, during the emotional meltdowns, in the moments of anticipation, excitement and frustration waiting for him to return and all the insane times in between. Thank you to all the wonderful people that have been there for me during the last year. You're the only reason I made it through this and stayed semi-sane.

The Deployment Blues

Deployments Suck ... Period. End of statement. They are the worst part of any military career. The worst part of the deployment is not what everyone thinks. 

Yes, deployments separate our sailors from home, family, their favorite food, their dog, their life, their favorite truck, regular TV, and many many other things, but the separation is NOT the worst part. It is the togetherness. 
Whenever underways, cruises, workups, or deployments are scheduled, I thank God out loud that it is NOT ME going on that. 
Wives tend to moan and groan, "Oh feel sorry for me, he's gone" ... "He's gone, I am all alone, I have to do everything by myself" ... "He is so lucky, he is visiting foreign countries"

Uh, NO

The hardest part of the deployment is NOT sitting at home and waiting for him, it is not having to deal with the house, the dog and the kids by yourself, the hardest part of the deployment is what HE is going through. 

If you work full time, you go to work, you work 8 hours a day, you come home. End of story. Unfortunately, on deployment you are trapped 24/7 with 300 plus assholes you can't stand. 

Seriously? Me being at home is supposed to be WORSE than him trapped on the ship? No way. 
There is NO WAY that I could handle being stuck at work 24/7 for a WEEK let alone 7 months straight. At the end of an 8 hour day, I HAVE to go home or I am going to seriously hurt myself or someone else. 
When they are underway, and when they are in port, there is no such thing as an 8 hour day. They normally work 12-18 hour days. They get very few hours off in which they still have to deal with the people they work with, eat the crappy food on the ship, (if they are lucky enough to not be working during meal time), find time to go workout with the coworkers that annoy them, then go shower and sleep, still surrounded by people they work with. 

When they finally pull in to some cool port and they get to take a tour and see someplace new, Guess What? You can't leave the ship by yourself, pick one of the assholes you work with that you are the least likely to choke the shit out of, and take him with you. 

Sure, I would love to see all of these foreign countries and wonderful destinations, but there is no way in hell I am going on a field trip with my coworkers. 

I complain he is gone, I hate having to deal with the house, the dog, the yard, and all the household stuff by myself, while he is gone, It Sucks. 
But what he is going through Sucks 1,000 times more. So I just put on my happy face, watch the clock, and Thank GOD that at 5pm I get to go home and sleep in MY BED, and I do not have to spend 24/7 with coworkers. 
I pray every night that he is OK, he gets enough to eat, he gets enough sleep and he gets a few hours off to relax or exercise. 
I'm thankful for what I have. I am VERY thankful for him in my life. I love him more and more each day. I'm also very thankful he is a much stronger person than I am. 

Preparing your Electronics for Upcoming Deployment

No one really likes to think about an upcoming deployment. When a deployment is looming on the schedule, it means lots of extra work for the crew. Getting a ship ready for a deployment is an enormous amount of work. Sometimes as the family who stays home, we tend to think that we have the worst end being at home, but the extended hours and extended work really do take a toll on our sailors. 


While all of these wonderful things are going on 6-12 months prior to a deployment, we often forget little things that we can do ahead of time, and everything gets made "last minute". 


I'm going to write a few tips about things dealing with your personal electronics that can be done ahead of time. 


 - Cell Service. Who doesn't have a cell phone today? Well most are not just a phone, but are also a smart phone. Typically, before when the sailor left he would just turn in his phone or suspend his line, now carriers are making things more reasonable. 
          - Contact the carrier and find out about international cards or international as needed service. It may or may not work with your budget. 
          - Some carriers will sell or allow cards to be purchased that will allow the phone to work internationally. 


 - Cell Phones aren't just phones! Since most phones are smart phones, you have the options to add contacts, calendars, music, photos, etc to the phone. Even if you have cut off service to the phone, it will still work as a MP3 player, calendar and some will get Wifi. Use the time before he leaves to beef up these features. Go through the contacts and make sure you not only have everyone's phone number, but address as well. Mom would love a post card or 2 while you are gone. Use the phone as your personal calendar and electronic contacts. Make sure important dates like birthdays and anniversaries are all in the calendar so there is no excuse to forget. 


 - Don't forget Wifi! Most newer phones have the ability to work on Wifi for places that a cell signal is not available. If your current phone doesn't have this, look for it if you upgrade. Wifi on the phone means that even with no service, the phone could be used for email if it is on Wifi. Install an app like SKYPE and you can make calls when on Wifi. Granted, not every one, or every job has access to Wifi, so some will not have a benefit from this at all. 


-Make sure for any electronics that he will be take with him, you have the item registered with the manufacturer and you have the serial number recorded. Especially things like MP3 players, and tablets. Hopefully, nothing becomes lost or stolen while he is gone. But if you have recorded the serial numbers, it will make it easier to report. Take pictures of everything as well. 


It is always easy to say, oh nothing will happen. 
But trust me, electronics are lost and stolen everyday Be Prepared!

Veterans Day Challenge

As if dealing with 3 chronic pain diseases, a full time job, a part time job, and trying to have a life isn't enough going on, I've taken on a ridiculous challenge.
I decided that I was going to make Veterans Day cards for those Veterans in the hospital here at Portsmouth Naval and the VA Hospital in Hampton.
At first I was thinking I would make about 100, but it has grown to my goal of 1,111. Veterans Day is 11-11. 


I've started the first few steps. I've let most of the people around me know what is going on and I am trying to recruit as much help as possible. The biggest part of the project is what I am working on now which is pretty much cutting out all of the individual cards, and the decorations for the cards. 


So now I am in phase one, which is cutting out the pieces and the cards. This weekend while my wonderful sailor is in NYC for fleet week, having a wonderful time, I will be covered in glue, ink, and paper cuts while I work on making cards. 

How to Simulate Life in the Navy

How to Simulate Life in the Navy

1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.

2. Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the

walls.

3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it

out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray."

4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the

scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay

$10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.

6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to

200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On

Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too

much water during the week, so all showering is secured.

7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.

8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a

whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Reveille,

Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up".

9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the

following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and

read it to you.

10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight,

then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours, and hang a sign

On the door that reads "Secured-contact OA division at X-3053."

11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's OK for you

to leave your house before 3pm.

12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up

all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6

months is up, take down the boards, wave at your friends and family

through the front window of your home...you can't leave until the next

day you have duty.

13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.

14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home

(i.e., Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc).

15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15

minutes.

16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This

is to ensure your engine is properly "lighted off."

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3

times a day, whether they need it or not. (Now sweepers, start your

brooms, clean sweep down fore and aft, empty all trashcans over the

fantail)

18. Repaint your entire house once a month.

19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning

you can get your hands on.

20. Use eighteen scoops of budget coffee grounds per pot, and allow each

pot to sit 5 hours before drinking.

21. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your

magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item.

22. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN

and the Weather Channel.

23. Avoid watching TV with the exception of movies which are played in the

middle of the night. Have the family vote on which movie to watch

and then show a different one.

24. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

25. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.

26. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world

travel."

27. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.

28. Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead

bodies of your coworkers.

29. Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have

gone to bed.

30. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone,

and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and

order them to man their battle stations. ("General quarters, general

quarters, all hands man your battle stations")

31. Make your family menu a week ahead of time and do so without checking

the pantry and refrigerator.

32. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you

are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an

hour, when they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of

steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don't

pay attention to the menu any more so they just ask for hot dogs.

33. When baking a cake, prop up one side of the pan while it is in the

oven. Spread icing on real thick to level it off.

34. In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway.

Have you family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.

35. Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. Then tell

them that at the end of the 6th week you're going to take them to

Disneyland for "weekend liberty." When the end of the 6th week rolls

around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that

they need to get ready for Engineering-certification, and that it will be

another week before they can leave the house.

36. In your grim, gray dumpster (refer to #1), with 200 of your

not-so-closest friend (cite par. 12) regardless of gender, suffer through

PMS!

37. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a

curtain. Have you wife whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you

go to sleep. She should then shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble

"Sorry, wrong rack."

38. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your

bathtub, move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make

sure you shut off the water while you soap down.

39. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, find a wobbly rocking chair

and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. have a supply of

stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

40. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

41. For ex-engineering types: leave the lawn mower running in your living

room eight hours a day.

42. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

43. Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind

carries the soot onto your neighbors house. Ignore his complaints.

44. Every other month buy green or red marine primer and put it in a paint

sprayer. Spray it over the roof of your house onto your neighbors

car. Ignore his complaints.

45. Lock wire the lug nuts on your car.

46. Buy a trash compactor, but use it only once a week. Store the garbage

on the other side of your bathtub.

47. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly

sandwich on stale bread.

48. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night, jump up and

get dressed as fast as you can making sure you button up the top

button on your shirt, stuff you pants into your socks. Run out into the

backyard and uncoil the garden hose.

49. Once a month, take every major appliance apart and put them back

together again.

50. Install a fluorescent lamp under the coffee table and then get under

it and read books.

51. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back

doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass

through one of them.

52. Every so often, throw the cat in the pool and shout "Man overboard,

starboard side" Then run into the house and sweep all the pots and

dishes off the counter. Yell at the wife and kids for not having the

kitchen "stowed for sea."

53. Put on the headphones from your stereo set, but don't plug them in.

Hang a paper cup around your neck with string. Go stand in front of your

stove. Say ... to no one in particular "Stove manned and ready" Stand

there for three or four hours. And say again to no one in particular

"stove secured." Roll up your headphones and paper cup and place them in a

box.

Fun on Duty Day

Sometimes being stuck at home alone on Duty Day can really stink. Yes it is nice to have a day to yourself to do what you want, but some times having to handle things that require another person on duty day is pretty annoying. 
So instead of being upset that it is duty day, I suggest to have some fun with it. Here are some ways to make duty day fun.


-- You don't have to shave your legs! It is always good to prevent a blood letting.


-- The kids will love having pop tarts for dinner!


-- You will discover this thing called "the remote". This item is normally captured and held on to all night. 


-- Once you discover "the remote" you will find that despite what he tells you, it WILL find chic flicks, OWN, Lifetime, ION, and TLC. Amazing, but there will be NO men's shows on tv on duty night. 


-- Inform your children that they have all been granted "leave". Insist they all go outside. Lock the front door. Inform them they are not allowed back in until their "leave period" is up. 


-- Lay in the middle of the bed and make a snow angel with the covers. This is the one night where you will not be clinging to the edge. 


-- Seize the opportunity to something Girl like. Maybe enjoy a pedicure or just a night free of farting.


-- Do all of the things your husband is completely confused by. Like changing the toilet paper roll or starting the dishwasher. Or you can just leave it for him to ignore yet another day.


Duty days can stink, but the best part of Duty Day is that it is ONLY ONE DAY and they will be home the next day. 

It could be worse, it could be deployment .... 

ZIP IT!

Family Members: 


I know that you are ridiculously proud of your service member and I would love to shout it from the rooftops what he does, where he works, and how awesome he is. 


But Don't.


Unfortunately, there are crazy people in this world.


If someone contacts you online, be skeptical. Even if they seem to know credible information about people, places and events, be skeptical. 


Online life is a major part of every day and every one in 2012. We see a profile of a person and assume everything is the truth. It may be, but then again, it may not be. 
I am the type that always hesitates to give out information or say certain things just because I assume everyone is a terrorist. Probably the wrong thing to assume, but I do. 


Recently, I had a scenario where someone who has no knowledge of me or G contact me and claim to be some position associated with the ship. If she was or she wasn't, that is not the point. The point is, she could have been contacting a terrorist. She doesn't know me, doesn't know anything about me. But yet, she presented herself as someone associated with the ship. She got my name from another wife, who I was very suspicious of. She randomly contacts me and I do not refer to the ship with its real name, I use the nick name. When I referred to the nick name, she didn't know what I was talking about. So that put me on red alert. The nick name is on the ship's website and painted on the wall of their mess deck. So clearly she has never been on the website, and never been on the mess deck. 
I just did not really appreciate the person who supposedly was connected with the ship contacting me. I never say what ship G is on, I never say certain things because of security reasons. Luckily this person was talking to a real person, but what if she presented herself as a ship's rep and then she was talking to a terrorist?


My advice, always err on the side of caution. No matter what, act like you do not know anything. You don't know when, where, how of anything that is going on. 
Don't give anyone that you do not know any information at all. 


It is MUCH better to piss off someone's Wife or Mom for not giving out enough information than to risk the safety of ONE single serviceman!

Hokey Pokey

I realize that the Navy life involves the Sea. But I don't like it when it involves unnecessary torture. 


Right now, his ship is out on a Fleet Week Tour. Everyone who has ever been associated with Navy life knows what that means.


So he is out now, scheduled to be gone for a several weeks. Well after stop #1 was complete, his ship has to come by VA to get to their next stop. They have plenty of time, so the ship puts out a vote to see if they pull in for the night, or not. 
We all know they are not really going to pull in. The fuel costs are astronomical for a pull in and pull out. Why waste that money when the ship needs other things. 
I got that part, but why get everyone's hopes up that they may get to go home and sleep in their bed for one night?
To me that is just mean. 


Due to my health issues, I have a lot going on right now, and it is just not a good time for him to be away from me. So the fact that the Navy was teasing his whole ship that they may get to go home for a day was just MEAN!  

Sea Duty means on the SEA

I get so annoyed when I hear wives complain about how much their sailor is gone on SEA DUTY. Seriously? What part did you not understand? The SEA or the DUTY???
Its not called "Land Duty" or "Home everyday by 4pm duty" It is called SEA DUTY. He's a sailor, he is meant to be on the sea. 


If you want your sailor home with you every night and always up your ass because you are so afraid he is going to fart and you won't get to smell it, tell him to join the Navy band or the Air Force. 


I understand that no one likes having to take care of everything by themselves for a long period of time. But what would you being doing if you were single?
Would you be bitching and moaning that you have to do everything by yourself?
No, you would just do it. 


Instead of your non-stop childish bitching and moaning that he isn't with you every second of the day, why not just be thankful you have him?


How many single moms are out there doing it all, with absolutely zero support from anyone else?


Before you open your mouth to bitch that he isn't home, and his head is not crammed up your ass 24/7, Stop and think. 


In a flash, he could be gone. 


That is literally all it takes.


Before you start bitching he's not home, thank God above that your situation is not different. 


Be thankful that you can email him or talk to him on the phone. 


There are widows that would give anything just to have 5 more minutes. 


So stop bitching. He's in the Navy, let him sail the seas while you sit home alone and cash his paychecks and bitch about how he's not there. 


Stop Bitching, At least YOU HAVE HIM.

You Know You Are a Military Wife When ....

You Know You Are A Military Wife When ...


... You have at least 3 really good stories that start with the phrase "When we were stationed in ....."


... You feel the need to introduce your friends to each other by what their husband does. "This is L her husband is Army, this is J her husband is a corpsman, and this is A her husband is a Seabee"


... You don't really let another Military Wives annoy you too much, You know that sooner or later, one of you will be stationed somewhere else, and you won't have to see the person that annoys you ever again.


... Even though deployments stink, You try to make the best of it. "This deployment I am going to finish my degree!" or "This deployment I am going to repaint every room in the house"


... You have ever moved to a new residence with absolutely no assistance from your husband because he was deployed. 


... You have a collection of t shirts from ships, commands, bases or work units where your husband or a friend was assigned. You have at least 3 in your collection that employ no one you know any longer. 


... Someone compliments you on a piece of jewelry and instead of just "Thanks" you have to explain where he was when it was purchased. 


... You have some random t shirt or sweat pants that belong to your husband that you sleep in. It reminds you of him when he is gone. 


... You read magazine articles about improving your marriage and how it suggests you have sex everyday for 10 days in a row, and it hits you that you can't remember when he was last home for a continual 10 day period without being on leave. 


... You confuse your coworkers by referring your your vacation time as leave. 


... Spring break for the kids is referred to as a leave period. 


... You have friends that you regularly talk to who do not live in the same state or even the same time zone.


... You realize that your sacrifices at home are nothing compared to his.


... Even though it is a crazy life, the love you have makes up for everything. 

Military Laundry

You know that you are a Military Wife when you can tell what kind of day your solider/sailor had by what type of uniform they bring home to wash, or what you find in the bottom of the washer or dryer. 


It seems with me, I am always finding ear plugs. In the washer, in the dryer, in the floor, in the car, everywhere. 


You talk to a SeaBee wife and she will complain about nails being everywhere. 


You also have a sudden sense that you are a military wife when you realize that you are in an argument with someone over how bad hydraulic fluid / oil / grease / tar stinks and how bad it is to get out of a uniform. 


Whatever it is that he brings home on his uniform is always stinky and always difficult to get out. 


Even though it seems silly, I have seen wives argue over what stinks more and what is harder to get out. 


I guess it is the Navy wife version of a pissing contest. (I am sure one of the women could figure out how to get piss out of a uniform too)

Not Helpless

Why is it that during deployment, we handle all the household responsibilities, but when they are home, they assume we are helpless?


During deployments, underways, work ups, or any other time when he won't be home for awhile, I have no problem remembering about trash day. I cheat and have a reminder pop up on my phone to remind me to put the trash out and which night is recycle night. 
Its simple really, I gather up the trash from the bedroom and bathrooms. Then I go into the kitchen and determine what in the fridge needs to get thrown out. I gather up all the bags, take them out to the can, put the can on the curb. Then on Thursdays, I put the can back up beside the house. Simple really.


However, when it is a simple duty day, the world must stop. 


He's home, so he must gather the trash. Even though I have no problem doing it when he is gone, he is home, so the trash becomes his domain. Honestly, it is fine with me because I would rather not have to deal with hauling the trash and the recycles. So trust me, I don't get upset that I can't do it right when he is home. So he gathers the trash and recycles and places them on the curb. 


Now, duty day is trash day. So he has placed his trash perfectly on the curb. Now, I have the very difficult responsibility of rolling the can back to the side of the house when I get home from work. Yet again this is something that I handle when he is gone with no problem. But since he is on duty, he feels the need to remind me. 


Well honey, I think I can remember to roll the trash cans up. First, its Thursday, trash day is always Thursday, so I am already in the routine of putting the cans back on Thursdays. Second, the cans were sitting on the curb when I left the house this morning. So seeing the cans is a reminder that when I get home, I will need to put the cans up. Third, when I get home and go to pull into the driveway, I will see the cans. 


I am fully capable of seeing the cans, knowing that I need to roll them up by the house, and then actually doing it. 


Thanks for the vote of confidence honey that I need to be reminded to take care of the trash. 


Most of our sailors seem to think that we are wonder woman when they are deployed. We handle everything, the bills, the house, the yard, the pets, the cars, everything. 
But somehow they want to take over when they come home. 
Well honey, if you must take over trash duty when you are home to make yourself feel better, I will let you. I'm sure the trash is such a complicated thing, I can't do it right anyways. 

Home Sweet Home

Being in the position I am in is very odd. Most Military Wives have awesome stories of living in foreign countries, being moved all around the country on a moment's notice, and forgetting what their childhood home looks like because they have been away from it so long. 


I am the not ever moving Military Wife. 


I have lived in Chesapeake since I was 2. I'm 37 now, so do the math. My parents bought a house in Western Branch in 1976, specifically so my sister and I could go to Western Branch schools. 
Fast forward to 2008, I have graduated college, been married and divorced, and my sister who is also a military wife is stationed overseas. 
I am minding my own business, shopping in Target for a birthday card for my niece. 
Suddenly, this short filipino dude comes up and talks to me. The rest is history. 
Target, is conveniently right down the road from where I went to high school by the way. 
Fast Forward to 2012. 
I have been madly, insanely in love with my sailor since 2008. 
He has bought a house, he has no desire to move anywhere, and with his skills in the Navy, he can stay stationed in Norfolk the rest of his career. 
So my height of military moving was moving from 23321 to 23320. I changed a whole digit in my ZIP code. 
I'm sure, most military wives would kill for that. 


I feel a little odd, that I will never have to experience the infamous "PCS" or ever live in housing. But i live the military life just the same. Even though my ZIP code has only changed by one digit, and I am only 47 minutes away from my moma, I am still a military wife. 


I experience the same thing any other wife does. He goes to work, and I tell him I love him and I will miss him, and thats it. Just like any other wife, I have no idea if he will come home or not. 


He doesn't have a job where people shoot at him or try to kill him on a daily basis. Unless you count driving through bad parts of town. 


He goes to work as an electrician, does his job, and keeps his fingers crossed he can go home before bed time. 


Even though, I referred to as not a real military wife, because there are certain things I have never had to deal with, I feel I am as much a military wife as anyone else. 


I go to bed every night they are not home and pray to God that I never get 2 uniforms and a suit ringing my doorbell. 
He jokes that I would be a rich woman if that was to happen. 
But honestly, there is no amount of money, worth his life. 


I don't really feel the threat of danger when he is "at home" and his ship is at the base not going anywhere for awhile. It makes me have a greater appreciation for those guys who ARE NOT home right now and out trying to keep it together.
It also makes me think of wives of Fire fighters and Cops. 
How do they deal with it?
If my husband was a Cop in a bad part of town, I could not sleep if he was working. I would be deathly afraid he would get hurt every night he worked. 


Somehow, I have this illusion of safety when my sailor is in port and can come home at night. 


So here I go again, rambling on and on. 


The point I was trying to make is , I would love to experience a PCS or another duty station. But this later in his career, its not going to happen. 
I will enjoy my place in the record books as the only military wife to never have to move out of her home city. 


Even though I am in my home area, with my sister and dad less than 20 minutes away and my mom about 47 minutes away, it doesn't make his job less dangerous, it doesn't make me miss him any less, and it doesn't mean his job in the military is any less than any one else's. 


It is what it is .....