Turn About Is Fair Play

I totally have been out of the loop of blogging here lately. My life has been a literal shit storm in the middle of a tornado. I haven't had time to think about anything funny or witty that sucks or is great about military life, because I have just been too busy living it. 

The sailor is on one of those rotations where they are working like crazy to get prepped for inspections. Everything has to be in perfect working, safety condition and pass inspection, so they can deploy. 

I am sure there are a handful who want something to break, so they dont have to go, but that is not really how it works. If something breaks, they will bust ass until it gets fixed. 

So this means that he is working an extremely unreasonable schedule. He goes in at the same time everyday, but he has no idea what time he is getting off. It could be 4pm, it could be 6pm or it could be 10pm. Apparently they Navy does not give a shit that we have plans. 

So the number one thing I have learned by going through other fun times like this is that to not buy any tickets to anything, do not spend any money on anything fun that cannot be refunded. Too many times the Navy has cancelled leave, changed schedules and we are left holding the financial bag because we can't get refunds for whatever we spent money on. 

Not only has my life been a shit storm because of his crazy schedule, but weird things have been going on at work and I have had weird odd things that I am working on in the evenings when I am at home. I have a hard time writing documentation at work because I cannot concentrate. So I try to do it when I am not in the office. 

This week, something is happening that has not happened in over 4 years, he is at home, all alone for a WHOLE WEEK!

My employer sent me to another state for a week long training class. He took me to airport on Sunday. 

Of course the entire time we are walking down the hallway, he is making this "I'm going to cry" puppy face. I've traveled for business before, he has either been out to sea, or it was only 2 days. 

He leaves me at home all alone for weeks on end, but this is the first time that the shoe is on the other foot. 

He is not a messy person, so if anything the house will be cleaner when I get home than when I left. But I do worry about  little details like taking the trash out, and feeding the dog. He hasn't had to worry about that in so long. He just comes home eats and sleeps. Thats about all he has time to do. 

Turn about is fair play, I finally got the chance to leave him at home, and he is not liking it. He was missing me before I even got off the airplane. 

Many times in this relationship I have gone to the airport and waited patiently to pick him up after his flight, Friday night, Turn about becomes fair play and he gets to wait on me. 

Its a small revenge, but I will take it!

The Deployment Blues

Deployments Suck ... Period. End of statement. They are the worst part of any military career. The worst part of the deployment is not what everyone thinks. 

Yes, deployments separate our sailors from home, family, their favorite food, their dog, their life, their favorite truck, regular TV, and many many other things, but the separation is NOT the worst part. It is the togetherness. 
Whenever underways, cruises, workups, or deployments are scheduled, I thank God out loud that it is NOT ME going on that. 
Wives tend to moan and groan, "Oh feel sorry for me, he's gone" ... "He's gone, I am all alone, I have to do everything by myself" ... "He is so lucky, he is visiting foreign countries"

Uh, NO

The hardest part of the deployment is NOT sitting at home and waiting for him, it is not having to deal with the house, the dog and the kids by yourself, the hardest part of the deployment is what HE is going through. 

If you work full time, you go to work, you work 8 hours a day, you come home. End of story. Unfortunately, on deployment you are trapped 24/7 with 300 plus assholes you can't stand. 

Seriously? Me being at home is supposed to be WORSE than him trapped on the ship? No way. 
There is NO WAY that I could handle being stuck at work 24/7 for a WEEK let alone 7 months straight. At the end of an 8 hour day, I HAVE to go home or I am going to seriously hurt myself or someone else. 
When they are underway, and when they are in port, there is no such thing as an 8 hour day. They normally work 12-18 hour days. They get very few hours off in which they still have to deal with the people they work with, eat the crappy food on the ship, (if they are lucky enough to not be working during meal time), find time to go workout with the coworkers that annoy them, then go shower and sleep, still surrounded by people they work with. 

When they finally pull in to some cool port and they get to take a tour and see someplace new, Guess What? You can't leave the ship by yourself, pick one of the assholes you work with that you are the least likely to choke the shit out of, and take him with you. 

Sure, I would love to see all of these foreign countries and wonderful destinations, but there is no way in hell I am going on a field trip with my coworkers. 

I complain he is gone, I hate having to deal with the house, the dog, the yard, and all the household stuff by myself, while he is gone, It Sucks. 
But what he is going through Sucks 1,000 times more. So I just put on my happy face, watch the clock, and Thank GOD that at 5pm I get to go home and sleep in MY BED, and I do not have to spend 24/7 with coworkers. 
I pray every night that he is OK, he gets enough to eat, he gets enough sleep and he gets a few hours off to relax or exercise. 
I'm thankful for what I have. I am VERY thankful for him in my life. I love him more and more each day. I'm also very thankful he is a much stronger person than I am. 

Sea Duty means on the SEA

I get so annoyed when I hear wives complain about how much their sailor is gone on SEA DUTY. Seriously? What part did you not understand? The SEA or the DUTY???
Its not called "Land Duty" or "Home everyday by 4pm duty" It is called SEA DUTY. He's a sailor, he is meant to be on the sea. 


If you want your sailor home with you every night and always up your ass because you are so afraid he is going to fart and you won't get to smell it, tell him to join the Navy band or the Air Force. 


I understand that no one likes having to take care of everything by themselves for a long period of time. But what would you being doing if you were single?
Would you be bitching and moaning that you have to do everything by yourself?
No, you would just do it. 


Instead of your non-stop childish bitching and moaning that he isn't with you every second of the day, why not just be thankful you have him?


How many single moms are out there doing it all, with absolutely zero support from anyone else?


Before you open your mouth to bitch that he isn't home, and his head is not crammed up your ass 24/7, Stop and think. 


In a flash, he could be gone. 


That is literally all it takes.


Before you start bitching he's not home, thank God above that your situation is not different. 


Be thankful that you can email him or talk to him on the phone. 


There are widows that would give anything just to have 5 more minutes. 


So stop bitching. He's in the Navy, let him sail the seas while you sit home alone and cash his paychecks and bitch about how he's not there. 


Stop Bitching, At least YOU HAVE HIM.

Pronunciation is everything

I read an article on one of the news stations the other day, and it made me want to post. 


People who are not natives of South Eastern Virginia, AKA, Hampton Roads, AKA, Tidewater do not understand how to properly pronounce most of the city names around here. 


The biggest example is Norfolk. 
From the way it is spelled you would assume you pronounce it Nor - Folk.
Well no, you don't. 
Only out of towners and vacationers actually pronounce all of the letters and say Nor - Folk. 
After you have been here awhile, you will hear it said enough times, to understand it should be spelled Nor-Fick because that is how everyone says it. 
People who are 3rd and fourth generation Hampton Roads-ian like myself however know that that Nor - Fick is not the correct pronunciation either. 
As my grandaddy would say, it is Nal-Fick.
Yes people, there is an invisible al in the beginning. You will hear some of the older people refer to Nal-Fick and you will wonder what the heck they are talking about. 


Some of you think that on the other side of the water from Norfolk, is a city known as Portsmouth. 


As my grandaddy would say Nal-Fick, my grandma would say Porch-Moth.


Porch-Moth? seriously? YES. Listen to old timers refer to the pro baseball team. They were the Porch-Moth Cubs. No matter that the history books read Portsmouth, old timers all know its Porch-Moth. 


Yet again, I wonder why people get confused. You look on the map for Nal-Fick and Porch-Moth and don't see them!