Some Updates

So I guess I need to update on all the craziness since I really wrote anything. 
The last couple of months before he came home from deployment was really weird. 
Before he left, and after he first left I was spending alot of time with friends, and suddenly they just stopped speaking to me in May. 
I think the one did because I got really sick, and I wasn't able to go to a concert we had tickets to. So after that, she never spoke to me again. 
But she was having a baby, so I knew we wouldn't be friends after the kid was born anyways. The whole kid thing just takes up all your time and ruins your life, so you lose your friends. But people know that going in. 

The other, I think just quit speaking to me, because the first did. I really don't know. But it was just weird to talk to 2 people everyday, plan everything with 2 people, and then suddenly they just stop talking to you for no reason. 

The horrible part is that other people who knew all of us have decided to be friends with them and not me which means they have to be super bitchy to me. Lovely. 

Anyways, so as the summer was winding down, I decided to get my first tattoo. I had been thinking about it for years. I finally just randomly left work on my lunch hour and got one. CRAZY.
After that I ended up getting 2 more and a half sleeve. LOL
MID LIFE CRISIS!

So my now husband then fiance' came home ahead of the ship as scheduled. However the day he flew home was nothing but bad weather all over the eat coast. His flight was delayed delayed delayed. 
Of course while he was deployed, his cell phone had died, so he had no way to get in touch with me besides bugging other people he worked with to use their phones. 
Our homecoming was delayed until like 3am int he morning. He was tired, I was tired. I didn't eat, he didn't eat. It was a mess. It was definitely NOT a homecoming. 
But he came home and our life resumed. I was happy to have him home, even if it meant that it was at 3am.

Turn About Is Fair Play

I totally have been out of the loop of blogging here lately. My life has been a literal shit storm in the middle of a tornado. I haven't had time to think about anything funny or witty that sucks or is great about military life, because I have just been too busy living it. 

The sailor is on one of those rotations where they are working like crazy to get prepped for inspections. Everything has to be in perfect working, safety condition and pass inspection, so they can deploy. 

I am sure there are a handful who want something to break, so they dont have to go, but that is not really how it works. If something breaks, they will bust ass until it gets fixed. 

So this means that he is working an extremely unreasonable schedule. He goes in at the same time everyday, but he has no idea what time he is getting off. It could be 4pm, it could be 6pm or it could be 10pm. Apparently they Navy does not give a shit that we have plans. 

So the number one thing I have learned by going through other fun times like this is that to not buy any tickets to anything, do not spend any money on anything fun that cannot be refunded. Too many times the Navy has cancelled leave, changed schedules and we are left holding the financial bag because we can't get refunds for whatever we spent money on. 

Not only has my life been a shit storm because of his crazy schedule, but weird things have been going on at work and I have had weird odd things that I am working on in the evenings when I am at home. I have a hard time writing documentation at work because I cannot concentrate. So I try to do it when I am not in the office. 

This week, something is happening that has not happened in over 4 years, he is at home, all alone for a WHOLE WEEK!

My employer sent me to another state for a week long training class. He took me to airport on Sunday. 

Of course the entire time we are walking down the hallway, he is making this "I'm going to cry" puppy face. I've traveled for business before, he has either been out to sea, or it was only 2 days. 

He leaves me at home all alone for weeks on end, but this is the first time that the shoe is on the other foot. 

He is not a messy person, so if anything the house will be cleaner when I get home than when I left. But I do worry about  little details like taking the trash out, and feeding the dog. He hasn't had to worry about that in so long. He just comes home eats and sleeps. Thats about all he has time to do. 

Turn about is fair play, I finally got the chance to leave him at home, and he is not liking it. He was missing me before I even got off the airplane. 

Many times in this relationship I have gone to the airport and waited patiently to pick him up after his flight, Friday night, Turn about becomes fair play and he gets to wait on me. 

Its a small revenge, but I will take it!

Top 10 Lessons Learned

Today's Blog Post is not mine. It was well written by a friend and Army Wife. My friend Lauren has experienced the ups and downs of life with an active duty spouse and reserve spouse, and dealing with our arch nemesis, the Deployment.
This post is dedicated to all of us family members who have to joy of staying home and watching everything fall to shit.

Thanks for the post Lauren!

Since the deployment is officially over I decided to share the top 10 lessons I learned over the last year. Most were expensive and frustrating at the time but are now amusing to look back on and know even though I had plenty of "Army Wife Fail" moments I got through it and came out much stronger on the other end.

1. Your husband typically mows the grass once a week, not once a month. If you wait

 a month and run over a pole because you didn’t see it through the jungle of grass, you WILL break your lawn mower.

2. When you break the lawn mower, you ignore the shed in the backyard. Ignoring the shed in the backyard will result in rat infestations that will ruin the shed. Rats are pretty nasty.

3. When your husband tells you to change the air filter in the HVAC unit every 3 months you should ignore him and read the package. Or, you can pay an emergency repair man to tell you you’re supposed to change it once a month when the motor goes out in the middle of the night when it's 100 degrees outside.

4. The Police don’t care if you just talked to your husband that you haven’t talked to in FOREVER and are so excited that you completely forget to watch your speed. Speeding will result in a ticket. VA takes speeding very seriously. Don’t speed in VA.

5. When the Army says your husband will be home for R&R on March 10th you should use the following equation to determine when he will really be home: Date the Army said + 2x + #the Army is full of crap= nobody knows when the hell he will actually be home. Keep calm and drink some rum.

6. It does not matter when your husband leaves or how long he is gone for. As soon as he leaves something major will go wrong. For example, there is a hurricane that you are completely unprepared for on the day he boards a plane for Afghanistan. This means taking down the 10 foot canopy, disassembling the swing, emptying the water barrels, evacuating yourself and the animals and then coming home to throw out all the food in 2 refrigerators and a freezer, and finding someone to repair the fence and water barrels by yourself. By the way, if you choose the cheapest repair guy your fence will end up totally jacked up.

7. It is frowned upon by the DMV to let the registration on your vehicle expire because you totally forgot you had to take care of your husband’s vehicle.

8. Speaking of forgetting your husband's car, if you forget to start said car the battery will die. You will realize the battery is dead on a rainy Saturday when you need that car and will need to jump the car in the rain after googling "will you get shocked if you jump a car in the rain?"

9. A year spent dreaming about the "perfect" reunion where your husband (in uniform) scoops you up, spins you around and kisses you for the first time in months while the photographer captures the perfect photo is laughable. LAUGHABLE! Driving 10 hours (unexpectedly with about 1 hour notice) round-trip to see him for less than 24 hours and pulling in to a dark parking lot in the rain is more like it.

10. Good friends and amazingly supportive family will get you through it all….the days you literally ache from the pain of missing him, when you hate him for leaving you, during the emotional meltdowns, in the moments of anticipation, excitement and frustration waiting for him to return and all the insane times in between. Thank you to all the wonderful people that have been there for me during the last year. You're the only reason I made it through this and stayed semi-sane.

Preparing your Electronics for Upcoming Deployment

No one really likes to think about an upcoming deployment. When a deployment is looming on the schedule, it means lots of extra work for the crew. Getting a ship ready for a deployment is an enormous amount of work. Sometimes as the family who stays home, we tend to think that we have the worst end being at home, but the extended hours and extended work really do take a toll on our sailors. 


While all of these wonderful things are going on 6-12 months prior to a deployment, we often forget little things that we can do ahead of time, and everything gets made "last minute". 


I'm going to write a few tips about things dealing with your personal electronics that can be done ahead of time. 


 - Cell Service. Who doesn't have a cell phone today? Well most are not just a phone, but are also a smart phone. Typically, before when the sailor left he would just turn in his phone or suspend his line, now carriers are making things more reasonable. 
          - Contact the carrier and find out about international cards or international as needed service. It may or may not work with your budget. 
          - Some carriers will sell or allow cards to be purchased that will allow the phone to work internationally. 


 - Cell Phones aren't just phones! Since most phones are smart phones, you have the options to add contacts, calendars, music, photos, etc to the phone. Even if you have cut off service to the phone, it will still work as a MP3 player, calendar and some will get Wifi. Use the time before he leaves to beef up these features. Go through the contacts and make sure you not only have everyone's phone number, but address as well. Mom would love a post card or 2 while you are gone. Use the phone as your personal calendar and electronic contacts. Make sure important dates like birthdays and anniversaries are all in the calendar so there is no excuse to forget. 


 - Don't forget Wifi! Most newer phones have the ability to work on Wifi for places that a cell signal is not available. If your current phone doesn't have this, look for it if you upgrade. Wifi on the phone means that even with no service, the phone could be used for email if it is on Wifi. Install an app like SKYPE and you can make calls when on Wifi. Granted, not every one, or every job has access to Wifi, so some will not have a benefit from this at all. 


-Make sure for any electronics that he will be take with him, you have the item registered with the manufacturer and you have the serial number recorded. Especially things like MP3 players, and tablets. Hopefully, nothing becomes lost or stolen while he is gone. But if you have recorded the serial numbers, it will make it easier to report. Take pictures of everything as well. 


It is always easy to say, oh nothing will happen. 
But trust me, electronics are lost and stolen everyday Be Prepared!

How to Simulate Life in the Navy

How to Simulate Life in the Navy

1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.

2. Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the

walls.

3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it

out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray."

4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the

scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay

$10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.

6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to

200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On

Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too

much water during the week, so all showering is secured.

7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.

8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a

whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Reveille,

Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up".

9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the

following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and

read it to you.

10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight,

then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours, and hang a sign

On the door that reads "Secured-contact OA division at X-3053."

11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's OK for you

to leave your house before 3pm.

12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up

all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6

months is up, take down the boards, wave at your friends and family

through the front window of your home...you can't leave until the next

day you have duty.

13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.

14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home

(i.e., Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc).

15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15

minutes.

16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This

is to ensure your engine is properly "lighted off."

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3

times a day, whether they need it or not. (Now sweepers, start your

brooms, clean sweep down fore and aft, empty all trashcans over the

fantail)

18. Repaint your entire house once a month.

19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning

you can get your hands on.

20. Use eighteen scoops of budget coffee grounds per pot, and allow each

pot to sit 5 hours before drinking.

21. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your

magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item.

22. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN

and the Weather Channel.

23. Avoid watching TV with the exception of movies which are played in the

middle of the night. Have the family vote on which movie to watch

and then show a different one.

24. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

25. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.

26. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world

travel."

27. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.

28. Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead

bodies of your coworkers.

29. Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have

gone to bed.

30. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone,

and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and

order them to man their battle stations. ("General quarters, general

quarters, all hands man your battle stations")

31. Make your family menu a week ahead of time and do so without checking

the pantry and refrigerator.

32. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you

are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an

hour, when they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of

steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don't

pay attention to the menu any more so they just ask for hot dogs.

33. When baking a cake, prop up one side of the pan while it is in the

oven. Spread icing on real thick to level it off.

34. In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway.

Have you family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.

35. Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. Then tell

them that at the end of the 6th week you're going to take them to

Disneyland for "weekend liberty." When the end of the 6th week rolls

around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that

they need to get ready for Engineering-certification, and that it will be

another week before they can leave the house.

36. In your grim, gray dumpster (refer to #1), with 200 of your

not-so-closest friend (cite par. 12) regardless of gender, suffer through

PMS!

37. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a

curtain. Have you wife whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you

go to sleep. She should then shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble

"Sorry, wrong rack."

38. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your

bathtub, move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make

sure you shut off the water while you soap down.

39. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, find a wobbly rocking chair

and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. have a supply of

stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

40. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

41. For ex-engineering types: leave the lawn mower running in your living

room eight hours a day.

42. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

43. Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind

carries the soot onto your neighbors house. Ignore his complaints.

44. Every other month buy green or red marine primer and put it in a paint

sprayer. Spray it over the roof of your house onto your neighbors

car. Ignore his complaints.

45. Lock wire the lug nuts on your car.

46. Buy a trash compactor, but use it only once a week. Store the garbage

on the other side of your bathtub.

47. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly

sandwich on stale bread.

48. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night, jump up and

get dressed as fast as you can making sure you button up the top

button on your shirt, stuff you pants into your socks. Run out into the

backyard and uncoil the garden hose.

49. Once a month, take every major appliance apart and put them back

together again.

50. Install a fluorescent lamp under the coffee table and then get under

it and read books.

51. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back

doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass

through one of them.

52. Every so often, throw the cat in the pool and shout "Man overboard,

starboard side" Then run into the house and sweep all the pots and

dishes off the counter. Yell at the wife and kids for not having the

kitchen "stowed for sea."

53. Put on the headphones from your stereo set, but don't plug them in.

Hang a paper cup around your neck with string. Go stand in front of your

stove. Say ... to no one in particular "Stove manned and ready" Stand

there for three or four hours. And say again to no one in particular

"stove secured." Roll up your headphones and paper cup and place them in a

box.